Its been a While

I am back. I am in Love.

WHO AM I?

WHO AM I?

        I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE CHANGE THE PAST FEW YEARS, IS IT FOR THE BETTER OR FOR THE WORSE? BEING A SELF ABSORBED PERSON THAT I AM; I THINK IT IS FOR THE BETTER. WHEN I FIRST ARRIVED IN SYDNEY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I AM NOT EASILY INFLUENCE BY ANYONE, BUT THAT CERTAINLY CHANGE. 

HOW ABOUT PRACTICAL WORK?

IT WAS FUN FOR THE FIRST FEW WEEKS, BUT AS TIME PAST BY, I FEEL REDUNDANT BECAUSE MY SUPERVISOR IS BUSY WITH HIS WORK. I DON’T BLAME HIM. THE OTHER REASON IS PROBABLY, OTHER PEOPLE ARE TOO BUSY TO ENTERTAIN EACH OTHER IN THE OFFICE. YEAH I FORGOT, IT’S NOT AN ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. 

WHO DO YOU MET IN MIRI? 

I MET A LOT OF NEW PEOPLE HERE IN SYDNEY.  SINCERELY, I LOVE 3 PEOPLE I MET HERE, AYUNI, IJOY AND FIZA. IT IS KIND OF WEIRD THAT WE CLICK STRAIGHT AWAY. WE WENT TO A LOT OF PLACES TOGETHER HERE IN MIRI; CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, GYM, MOVIE, KARAOKE AND ETC. IT IS REALLY SAD THAT AYU WILL LEAVE SOON; SHE IS REALLY A NICE GIRL AND FUN TO TALK TO AS WELL. IT IS WEIRD WHY PEOPLE JUDGE HER. HUMAN INCLUDING ME TENDS TO LOOK AT THE BAD SIDE OF OTHER PEOPLE. IT IS WEIRD THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE SO PIOUS, CLOSE TO GOD, TENDS TO HATE PEOPLE MORE COMPARE TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE LESS PIOUS OR NOT PIOUS AT ALL. WHAT AN IRONY. MOVING ON, IJOY IS A COOL GUY WHO IS OPEN TO WHATEVER CONVERSATION THAT I HAD WITH HIM, WELL NOT ALL  THE  TIME BECAUSE SOMETIME I CAN BE SO WEIRD EVEN THE MOST OPEN MINDED PERSON IN THE WORLD WILL MAKE FACES IF I TALK TO THEM. FIZA, ALTHOUGH SHE IS IN OTHER DEPARTMENT HERE IN PCSB, SHE ALWAYS HANG OUT AT OUR DEPARTMENT AND EVEN THE ENGINEERS HERE NOTICED HER. HEHEHE, I ALWAYS MAKE POKE FUN AT HER. I HOPE SHE IS NOT OFFENDED BY ANY OF MY JOKES. WOW, THESE THREE PEOPLE ARE AMAZING TO HANG OUT WITH.

I MET A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL, THEY ARE SPECIAL WITH THEIR OWN PERSONALITY AND CHARACTERISTICS, SOME ARE CONSERVATIVE MINDED, SOME ARE OPEN MINDED, SOME ARE AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS, SOME ARE DOWN TO EARTH. I REMEMBER ONE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH A FRIEND, ITS FUNNY, WE ARE ALL TALKING ABOUT HAVING A BBQ THAT NIGHT, I MAKE A JOKE BY SAYING “IS THERE A STRIPPER COMING?” AND I HEARD AN ANNOYING VOICE SAYING “ISH, KAZAR…” IT’S WEIRD THAT HE EVEN KNOWS WHAT STRIPPER IS IN THE FIRST PLACE. ANNOYING...NOT THE PERSON SAYING IT, JUST THE VOICE I HEARD THAT DAY. 

WHAT’S THE MOST AMAZING THING YOU DID TODAY?

OK, THE MOST AMAZING THING THAT I DID TODAY WAS I HAD A HAIRCUT AT THIS SALON IN BOULEVARD DONE BY A PROFESSIONAL HAIR STYLIST. IT’S ONLY RM20 (ABOUT AUD7) FOR A HAIR CUT THERE. IT IS THE MOST DARING HAIR CUT I EVER HAD, WITH WEIRD STRIPES AT THE SIDES AND AT THE BACK. BUT MY MOHAWK IS STILL THERE. OH MY GOD, ITS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY THE WHOLE DAY BECAUSE I KEEP ON THINKING, WILL MY FRIENDS STILL HANG OUT WITH ME WITH THIS HAIRSTYLE I HAVE NOW, CAN I GET DISMISS BY JUST GETTING THIS WEIRD HAIRCUT, WILL IT ACCENTUATE MY LOOK OR RUIN IT, WILL THE HAIRCUT “WEAR” ME OR WILL I “WEAR” THE HAIRCUT. I CHOOSE THE LATER OBVIOUSLY. ON A SAD NOTE, KARAOKE-ING SESSION WITH FRIENDS WAS CANCEL.

WHAT IS YOUR BIG TO-DO LIST?

BOOK A FLIGHT TICKET: BTU->KL AND GC->SYD

CLEAR MY DEBTS

CONTACT THE 4TH YEAR STUDENT ADVISOR ABOUT MY THESIS PROJECT AND INTERNSHIP PROGRAM

ACCOMODATION IN SYDNEY

INTERNSHIP

RELATIONSHIP

ETC-SHIP

WHAT SORT OF BEHAVIOUR DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?

I ALWAYS POKE FUN AT OTHER PEOPLE! SO I BETTER COOL IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT BEFORE PEOPLE STARTS TO HATE ME OR IT’S ALREADY STARTING. WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S JUDGEMENT TOWARDS ME; I CHANGE MYSELF BECAUSE IT IS A RIGHT THING TO DO, NOT TO SATISFY PEOPLE. THAT IS MORE FULLFILLING FOR ME. THERE IS A LOT OF OTHER STUFF THAT I CAN TALK ABOUT, ARCHITECTURE (IJOY YAWN WHEN I START TO TALK ABOUT IT), POLITICS (ITS NOT BORING!), FOOD, WORK, ETC. 

THE SECOND THING THAT I NOTICE ABOUT MYSELF IS THAT I HAVE A BLABBER MOUTH! OMG! I JUST CAN’T STOP TALKING. COOL IT DOWN A LITTLE BIT KAZAR; PEOPLE HAVE WORK TO DO AS WELL. 

My kurara

i'm just in love with this jap gurl!..she have personality, gorgeous, a kick boxing insructor etc. She can kick my ass anytime she want! here are some pictures;

 

J-Love is so hot

My honesty and Your honesty

ola people! i have been thinking about this for quite a while now. I think that i can be honest to someone else. But that honesty is not mutual. I keep on thinking that i must change myself. well, i believe the Golden rule and i tried to apply it everyday in my life. an example of honesty in my life that is not mutual is for example, if i say to a friend (they have to ask me first to give them my opinion) "oh that clothes doesnt suits u"...n when they say the same thing to me..i can feel the uneasiness inside of me.
But, i will ask someone if the things that i have said offends them in anyway, some of my friends say that my words are encouraging for them. i felt really honoured when theres anyone out there who really appreciate my honesty.
Sometime i cried when someone are being truly honest too me. i feel that they're playing with my self confidence big time. well depends, if they say like "banyaknye jerawat kat dahi kau tu"..i will seriously not get offended. But if they say things like "u can't do this, u can't do that, its wrong" and i know that they are just being honest...i will cry. i think what's wrong is me, not them. will they get offended if i say those things to them? maybe not. I havent reach that level where i can accept all of other people's opinion towards me.
So, whats next? well i have to say that i will have my limit in being honest. i will not lie. that is my principal. i will just say 'tak tau' and i know it will not happen overnight but i will try. and i will try to boost my friend's self confident by saying encouraging stuff like "u can do it! i know u". at the same time, i will try to accept more of other people's opinion towards me. how u might ask?..well i dont know..maybe u can give me ur opinion on how can i accept more of other people's crticsm on me.
i believe that human are not static, they can be better or worse, and i hope by changing this bad behaviour of mine i hope i can be a better person.


PS: No sarcasm involved in writing this article

Honesty and sensitivity

when i first came here in Sydney, my friends we're suprise how straight forward i am towards them. one thing about me is that i like to speak out what i feel without noticing the effects of every single words that i have said to my friends. one of my friend, told me few months back that u can't be straight forward in everything i do. well honestly, i think it is better to tell or discuss with someone about the things that makes u uncomfortable about them rather than talk behind their back.
my sensitivity sucks big time. i don't care about what other people think about me, but that is just who i am. Theres a lot of things in my past that build that attitude towards other people. So, it is not easy to change that like a switch of a button. there are a lot of positive things that came out from this attitude, i am happy most of the time, i dont have a low selfesteem about my image and etc. the negative side is that, i dont have a chance to improve myself because i dont have feedbacks from other people or i refuse to, i sometime deviate from what i use to belief in, and i dont have a lot of friends because i just dont care.
i have a friend who told me about what other people say about him that makes him uncomfortable with himself. and i said to him " u r big enough to brush it off". hours after that(thats how slow my slow my sensitivity came into effect), i feel bad about what i said. I should comfort him more. there traumatising things from his past that makes him the way he is. i should have not act like i know how to handle all things. I am not him. i dont know what he had been through all his life. n i am sorry.

updates...

*i forgot to share with you guys that i have started to exercise again...yay!..for the past 4 days that is. my exercise regime consists of my big buns and my flabby-full-of-fat abs.

*i haven't finish my machining assignment yet.

*i'm officially fakir miskin...so give ur 'zakat' to me.

*was a very long day in uni

*accidentally wearing the same bag as Muhammad in Uni just now(yeah...the fitness first bag)

*still disagree with the fact that the price of fish n chips in uni increased by 4 dollars for the past one year. i hate vsu!

*n yeah..that awkward moment with John, Joy and Jason(oh..i should call them The J's) during lunch now. Thank God, John break the slence by asking Joy "so...is ur housemate in Japan now?". hehehe.

that's all the updates for today. keep on reading my blog because maybe u'll miss my biggest secret ever!